Undeclared Dreams pt.2

So I was trying to keep this blog site sort of simple and not bring in the heavy stuff. With my last post I sort of realized that the heavy stuff is part of me so I should include it. Basically this one involves God, and what I believe to be True.

Last night I was talking to a friend about my future and about moving to Florida for school and what not, and he made me realize something. I had forgotten why I have these ambitions in the first place. It is kinda scary how easily that can happen. As people start to become complacent with a dream it is easy to gradually simplify it to where the definition is something completely different from what is was meant to be...

I have decided to go to Florida because it was not a decision, it was a step in a direction that I feel is greater than myself. If I am wrong then I guess I am wrong and am just hoping there is something down this path worth knowing.

In the summer of '08 I went to Guatemala with Faceless International. I was a scared kid who had no direction and no dreams, and this trip was the first time I took a step totally trusting in God. Through out my time in Guatemala I met some amazing people and built some lasting relationships, and most importantly really started seeing God in a real way. My life was drastically altered.

Later in the summer I went down to Florida and visited a friend I met on the trip. I stayed with he and his wife, and just spent four days and nights talking about life and what I wanted to do with mine and blah blah blah... The thing is, I truly felt at home, and not just in the comfortable since. I saw these people wanting to impact their community and care about similar stuff I cared about, and I saw the things God cares about being worked on out there.

Last night my friend here in KC told me something that really hit me. He told me that people a lot of time feel like they have to leave their home even their country to care for widows and orphans when really they just need to make an impact in their own town. He is right. This sort of beat me up and made me question my decision. Then last night at around 1 am I remembered something. I am not leaving KC because I don't think I have no opportunity to do the work of God. I am going because the first time I listened, truly listened to God, this path opened up. I just don't think I am at the end of it yet.


I wrote the following in the Tampa Airport (as it states) after that weekend.

Undeclared Dreams:

So here I sit in the Tampa airport eating an over priced muffin and drinking an over priced orange juice, already reflecting on my weekend here. It is crazy how much inspiration and motivation can be obtained from a four day trip. As weird and cheesy as it is to say, it has made me realize that it is so easy to limit life to what we know to be familiar, our own life, our own city, our own problems, even our own dreams. Dreams seemed to be a topic heavy on my mind this weekend and this summer. What are my dreams? What drives them? What kills them?

I was asked more than once this weekend, what I was majoring in and my reply was simply "undeclared". That word, undeclared, could very well define my future, but why? What happened to all those defining moments? What happened to all those dreams I had? Why am I so undeclared? I find myself asking "Is it more important to find out what killed the dream, or to apply lessons learned to your new dream in an effort to keep this one alive?".

This summer has been an amazing time of growth in my life, I have completed stuff of dreams. I have seen other countries, experienced other cultures, met some truly amazing people, and have seen changes in the person I am, furthering the person I am becoming.

At the beginning of the final week I was still lost about who I am, and I still am lost. I am starting to see I don't have to figure everything out, I don't have to know where my life is going. I just need a dream, something to work for. Something to motivate, I believe I am starting to see things differently, and my ideals are starting to shape into something new, which is a little scary, and exciting all at the same time. It seems at this point in my life nothing is permanent or declared, there are opportunities all around me, it is all about the drive and the dream.

Thanks to my friends new and old, you have made this a season which I will attempt to hold onto for as long as I can.