Love Is Blind

I have been really into William Fitzsimmons the past couple of days, maybe that explains why I am so angsty lately. This is a man who knows how to write depressing songs (they are simply amazing). I was listening to 90.9 the other day and heard about his past and how he learned music and it is sort of a contradiction to his style.

Both of his parents were (or are) blind and they taught Fitzsimmons to play and appreciate music. When I hear about his parents I cannot help but think of this truly happy couple who lived life and made music together even though the world viewed them as missing something. I see them wanting to teach their son the beauty of music that most of us neglect. I want to believe they had it all. They had passion, love, and a family, and in the end isn't that all we really need in this world.

just a thought.

The Ideal Angels Twist And Turn, Ask Forgiveness For Future Mistakes

Tonight was a pretty good night. I saw one of the greatest shows of my life which featured The Gaslight Anthem, Death in the Family, and Heartless Bastards down in Westport at Beaumont Club. The first two bands were really solid and played a couple of amazing sets, but after Gaslight Anthems set they are kind of a faded memory. The Gaslight Anthem put on the best set I have ever seen which included a Tom Petty cover during their encore. They are probably the best live band around right now, in my humble opinion.

I am rarely as happy as I am when I am at a show, especially amazing shows like this one. Life is good. Summer is here, and I have a feeling this is gonna be a good one.

I like this

"We did not sign up for a religion of acoustic guitars and nice buildings."

I don't really have a blog for this but my friend Adam said this last night at The Boiler Room and I really liked it. There is something about honest unplanned teachings that make an impact on me. I don't want a guy in a suit and tie with accreditation to teach me, I want honest friends who are truly living life to help me along this road. I want community.

Undeclared Dreams pt.2

So I was trying to keep this blog site sort of simple and not bring in the heavy stuff. With my last post I sort of realized that the heavy stuff is part of me so I should include it. Basically this one involves God, and what I believe to be True.

Last night I was talking to a friend about my future and about moving to Florida for school and what not, and he made me realize something. I had forgotten why I have these ambitions in the first place. It is kinda scary how easily that can happen. As people start to become complacent with a dream it is easy to gradually simplify it to where the definition is something completely different from what is was meant to be...

I have decided to go to Florida because it was not a decision, it was a step in a direction that I feel is greater than myself. If I am wrong then I guess I am wrong and am just hoping there is something down this path worth knowing.

In the summer of '08 I went to Guatemala with Faceless International. I was a scared kid who had no direction and no dreams, and this trip was the first time I took a step totally trusting in God. Through out my time in Guatemala I met some amazing people and built some lasting relationships, and most importantly really started seeing God in a real way. My life was drastically altered.

Later in the summer I went down to Florida and visited a friend I met on the trip. I stayed with he and his wife, and just spent four days and nights talking about life and what I wanted to do with mine and blah blah blah... The thing is, I truly felt at home, and not just in the comfortable since. I saw these people wanting to impact their community and care about similar stuff I cared about, and I saw the things God cares about being worked on out there.

Last night my friend here in KC told me something that really hit me. He told me that people a lot of time feel like they have to leave their home even their country to care for widows and orphans when really they just need to make an impact in their own town. He is right. This sort of beat me up and made me question my decision. Then last night at around 1 am I remembered something. I am not leaving KC because I don't think I have no opportunity to do the work of God. I am going because the first time I listened, truly listened to God, this path opened up. I just don't think I am at the end of it yet.


I wrote the following in the Tampa Airport (as it states) after that weekend.

Undeclared Dreams:

So here I sit in the Tampa airport eating an over priced muffin and drinking an over priced orange juice, already reflecting on my weekend here. It is crazy how much inspiration and motivation can be obtained from a four day trip. As weird and cheesy as it is to say, it has made me realize that it is so easy to limit life to what we know to be familiar, our own life, our own city, our own problems, even our own dreams. Dreams seemed to be a topic heavy on my mind this weekend and this summer. What are my dreams? What drives them? What kills them?

I was asked more than once this weekend, what I was majoring in and my reply was simply "undeclared". That word, undeclared, could very well define my future, but why? What happened to all those defining moments? What happened to all those dreams I had? Why am I so undeclared? I find myself asking "Is it more important to find out what killed the dream, or to apply lessons learned to your new dream in an effort to keep this one alive?".

This summer has been an amazing time of growth in my life, I have completed stuff of dreams. I have seen other countries, experienced other cultures, met some truly amazing people, and have seen changes in the person I am, furthering the person I am becoming.

At the beginning of the final week I was still lost about who I am, and I still am lost. I am starting to see I don't have to figure everything out, I don't have to know where my life is going. I just need a dream, something to work for. Something to motivate, I believe I am starting to see things differently, and my ideals are starting to shape into something new, which is a little scary, and exciting all at the same time. It seems at this point in my life nothing is permanent or declared, there are opportunities all around me, it is all about the drive and the dream.

Thanks to my friends new and old, you have made this a season which I will attempt to hold onto for as long as I can.

Plight of the Small Farmers

After Rome defeated Hannibal, Romes crops were destroyed because Hannibal salted the ground he took. This led to a bit of a problem because farmers could not produce crops and had to sell their land to big corperations who in turn monopolized the farming community in Rome. After this the small farmers basically started a mafia in Rome to make money because there was no where else to turn.

Tiberius Gracchus was a Roman nobel at this time. He came from a rich family and was considered in high regard. This was not enough for Tiberius, once while on his way back home from a battle he noticed large farms replacing the the small local farmers leaving them homeless and turning to crime. So he decided to run as tribune (which is basically a person who can introduce bills to be voted on) to change things and help the small farmers. Tiberius was elected and drafted a land bill to shift the land back to the small farmers, and limit the growth of giant farms owned by the wealthy. He had the senate angry because they owned the large farms and did not want to lose money. The senate decided to bribe this guy named Octavious to veto his land bill and take the fall so the senate would not look like the villain.

Rome had this law back then (even though they didn't write down their laws) that a person had to wait five years to run for tribune again. This would mean that the land bill would vanish unless Tiberius ran again. So he decided to break the law and run again for a back to back term. Next he decided to go for broke and impeach Octavious, which was also illegal. This way when Tiberius got re-elected there would be no opposition for his land bill.

This guy is so awesome, he sees corruption and does what it takes to get it taken care of.

As election day approached and it appeared the Tiberius would win, the senate paid to have him killed, thus ending Tiberius' political career. With Tiberius' death came the death of his land bill. His brother tried to get the bill accomplished after Tiberius but he was also killed as it goes sometimes. This is interesting because it is a shift in the Roman character because before this no one would stoop to murder a respectable man just for greed.

Tiberius Gracchus did what was necessary to help bring justice to the lesser knowns. He heard the plight of the small farmer and fought for them even to the point of death. I want that passion, I hate how often I turn a blind eye or deaf ear to the obvious injustices around me. I mean I work for a giant company where probably 95% of their merchandise was built on the backs of slaves, and still week in week out I work and collect a paycheck from the serpent.

It is unsettling to me how hard it is to make simple right choices, but I seem to fail daily.